It has been a while, But today was one of those days that I woke up and thought...

Was that real?

Am I really having twins?

Unlike the last time I woke up and had that feeling, I did not get the urge to throw up and then have a good cry.... Rather, this time I just smiled!

I'm not sure if my initial reaction is a normal reaction to finding out that you are carrying two babies. But I must admit that my first reaction was nearly dread, How could this be? I was already feeling overwhelmed that we would be adding a fourth child to our family, So how could this happen!? Five, I was going to have FIVE children!?

Now that I have had a couple weeks to get used to the idea, although I'm still overwhelmed at how I will manage 2 newborns and 3 older children, I am now also starting to get excited! We will have double the first smiles, double the baby giggles, and HOPEFULLY a couple little girls for mommy to do girl things with! I know I have probably jinxed myself by saying that I hope it is girls, But I really truly do. I also hope that if these babies are not indeed girls, that God will help me come to terms with the fact that I will not be getting a daughter.

When I thought we were having one baby I was okay with another boy, I actually HOPED for another boy. Because I KNOW boys, I can DO boys.

Since finding out that I am carrying TWO babies however it seems greed has gotten the better part of me. I find myself saying that I better get my girl, because really, all that I've ever wanted is a daughter, and if I give birth to FIVE children and don't get a daughter I will not be impressed.

I don't want to feel like that.

I know that these babies are a blessing and their sex should be the LEAST important thing to me... I just wish my heart could FEEL that. Does that make sense? Maybe one of you moms out there will get it, and hopefully before my next ultrasound I will have a change of heart. I love these babies irregardless, and if they are in fact boys, the LAST thing I want to feel at my next ultrasound is disappointment, because there are FARRRRR worse things out there that I could have to deal with than not getting my daughter.

The belly and other random thoughts

So here it is!! I am, 14 weeks and I believe 2 days today. Please do not look too closely at the photo. I was tempted not to post it as you can see the hideous-ness that is my hair in the mirror.

On another subject? How do you moms find time to do your darn hair!? Mine is in a pony tail so often that when I actually wear it down I am shocked by how much it has grown since the last time it was down!

Flipping subjects again, I bought the double stroller and car seats yesterday! I feel like it is so soon to be doing anything like that, but the way I see it... In the event that I end up on bed rest, I will be glad I got everything organized so early! Not that I'm planning on being on bed rest, but you do see the size of me right? At 14 weeks? These babies are going to start growing FAST now and it should be interesting to see how ginormous I get!

Another random subject? Sure, why not!

Has throwing up become a contest in your house? If not then you are not in a house full of boys! Keaton was up sick most of last night... so tonight at bedtime I told Kolby to go straight to sleep so he can get lots of rest and hopefully not get sick as well. His reply.

'But mom!! I'm already sick! I just puked in my mouth and swallowed it'

Great dude. I'm glad you felt the need to share. Yet another reason I hope that I may get a daughter out of this twins deal... enough of the puke/fart talk for me... I need makeup and shopping! STAT!

Prenatal appointments

So today was my first prenatal appointment since the Ultrasound that told us we were having twins...

To say it was underwhelming would be an exaggeration.

I was expecting him to sit down, tell me about what to expect differently with twins, tell me a little about how my prenatal care will differ as opposed to a singleton pregnancy, measure the fundal height, take my blood pressure...listen for heartbeats...send me for blood work...You know... all of the regular pregnancy stuff, plus prepare me a bit for how this pregnancy could be different.

INSTEAD.
-The nurse weighed me ( and as I predicted, I Have gained a pound, putting me at -6 but I'll take it since I was -8!), The doctor told me he got my Ultrasound report and it is indeed twins... That he'd like me to see another Dr. in town(but that's as far as that went), asked how I was feeling, said things were looking good and he'd like to see me back a week after my April 18th Ultrasound. So if you're looking at a calendar... That would make my next prenatal appointment in 7 weeks.

So lets look at the stats here

I am 14 weeks along with Twins. I have not had blood work done since the initial blood work at 4/5 weeks. He has not once listened for a heartbeat/heartbeats, not once checked my blood pressure or measured fundal height, and now we're going 7 weeks between appointments in my second trimester.

This cant be normal can it? I was really excited for today because I thought I'd leave the appointment with a better understanding of what to expect in the months to come. Instead I'm just as confused as ever... and frankly now quite frustrated by the situation.

Introducing...

In their first blog appearance, Baby A and Baby B!
They even look identical via ultrasound! HA!

I'm really confused by this identical vs. fraternal idea. The tech told us that it is highly likely that they are identical since they share a placenta. HOWEVER based on what he told us and again, Google... Everything I have read says that in our scenario(one placenta) the twins are identical...I did read however that occasionally two placentas will fuse together giving the appearance of one, thus being misleading... So that must be why they wont say that they are 100%. Or at least that's the conclusion I have come to.

A... For Alex or Ainsley?

B- For Brad or Bertha?

For those of you who may be worried about the name choice of Bertha, have no fear! That name is actually not on the list ;)

Random thoughts today:

-Im feeling pretty darn good. I'm very tired... and having crazy dizzy spells/headaches... but I'll take it over all day sickness!

-I *think* I gained a pound!

-Current snack of choice would be strawberries and cream loaded with sugar. I tell myself that the strawberries balance out the cream and sugar.

-I bought my first two boxes of diapers, and a Medela dual electric breast pump.

-May be getting ANOTHER crib this week as well as the double stroller and two carseats.

-I think I might be buying too much too soon, but I'm a planner so it feels SO GOOD to be buying. LOL

Crazy Coincidences

Now that we know we are having twins, when I look back there are SEVERAL strange, almost 'warnings' if you would.... Further proving to me that this is meant to be...

Are you ready to have your mind blown? I thought so. HA!

1)Since I was 5 years old I told my mom when I grew up and got married I was going to have identical twin girls(strange considering there were no twins in the family, and I'm not sure we even KNEW anyone with twins). WELL, when I grew up, got married, and had THREE boys I pretty much threw that idea out the window. Now, now it seems it may be a possibility- who EVER would have thought!?

2) Kyler, Oh my dear Kyler. I am sorry that Mom and Dad have been lying to you for months. Since the day we found out we were expecting and told the boys, Kyler has continually told us that there were TWO babies in my belly. I have continually told him that he was crazy and mommy was only growing one baby. oops!

3) I bought two cribs. HOW CRAZY IS THAT!? I was determined to buy as much as I can used this time since baby #4 was definitely going to be the last baby. I had made a rush decision to purchase an ikea crib on kijiji, without really looking at it first. Well when I got home I discovered(and remembered) that ikea cribs are shorter than regular cribs-almost like a playpen, and that was not what I wanted. WELL, two days later to my surprise the identical crib to the one that I had sold months earlier was for sale on kijiji, so I bought it as well, with plans to re-sell the ikea crib. So here we are. TWO CRIBS.

4) a couple weeks ago Motherhood maternity had an AWESOME sale online.I bought a ton of stuff, I bought half of it in Medium, and half in large since I know that I usually end up quite big. A week or so later I was disappointed to find that some of my items were out of stock and I would not be receiving them... HOWEVER imagine my dismay when I received the items that were in stock, and they were all size Large, and all absolutely HUGE, there was no way, no matter how big I got... that these would fit me. That doesn't seem to be the case now, since I'm bound to get bigger than I ever have before!

5)I receive daily emails from a pregnancy site with different things to expect during your pregnancy, diet and excersise ideas, that sort of thing.

I had my ultrasound this past Monday, I bet you will NEVER guess the subject of the email they sent me on Sunday ?

The subject was 'Expecting Twins?' I opened it up and it was an article about signs that could mean you are expecting twins! I thought that had to be a terrible omen and deleted it immediately. HA!


So there we have it, little coincidences that I thought nothing of at the time, but now I cant help but think WOW!

Identical, or not identical? That is the question!

Okay, so at the ultrasound we were told it was 'highly likely' that the babies are identical as they are sharing one placenta, and just a thin membrane seperates the babies in the amiotic sac. Below I will share what I have learned about that since:

A) I was addicted to google BEFORE this happened.

and

B) I am double addicted to google now.

So first, a photo. They believe We are the second photo down in the following series and considered 'Monochorionic diamniotic twins'

Monochorionic means they developed from a single egg and a single sperm
Diamniotic means they are in two amiotic sacs. Sort of. As you can see in the photo.

I found this explanation online that explains it clearly. I think. HA! I have made the font red for the sentance that describes us :)

Here goes...twins can be identical (30%) or non identical (70%). Dichorionic means two placentas, and diamniotic means two amniotic fluid filled sacs. A non identical twin pregnancy is always dichorionic diamniotic, which means that your babies, despite both being in your womb at the same time, have their own placenta and amniotic sac. It becomes more complicated with identical twins. They are originally from one embryo that split into two. If the embryo splits very early on, then the twins are identical but have separate placentas and amniotic sacs (dichorionin, diamniotic). If the embryo splits a little later, the result is identical twins that share a placenta (monochorionic) but are in separate sacs (diamniotic). Very late splitting of the embryo is rare but can result in conjoined (siamese) twins, or two babies that have the same placenta and are in the same sac (monochorionic, monoamniotic). This type of twins is at highest risk of various complications of pregnancy.

Now, any of you who know me know I'm slightly OCD, and slightly a paranoid freak when it comes to being pregnant. I read the following and now am totally freaked out, yet determined to deliver two healthy babies that do not require nicu stays. That is my goal!!

'Twins in general are at increased risk for certain complications including premature birth, death, and anomalies. When monozygotic twins split later than 3-4 days after fertilization, they are called 'monochorionic' twins(which is what we are) and they have complications which are many-fold higher that those of dichorionic twins. Monochorionic twins are at especially high risk of complications and death because they often share the placenta and have one outer membrane (chorion) as compared with dichorionic twins which have a separate membrane (dichorionic). Monochotionic twins have a significantly higher risk of complications such as twin-to-twin-transfusion-syndrome (TTTS) and require more intensive surveillance during pregnancy. Many doctors deliver monochorionic twins around 36 weeks to decrease the risk of complications.

So yes, I am now officially a REALLY paranoid freak. Thank you google...for freaking me the heck out.

Part II

BEFORE YOU READ THIS, MAKE SURE YOU CLICK HERE TO READ PART I FIRST.

So there we are, Tyson, Kyler and I... all hanging out in the Ultrasound room.

The tech put the thingy to my belly(so technical, I know!) and I thougtht I saw something funny, TWO 'blobs' but the tech moved around quick so I took a deep breath and told myself to stop freaking myself out, how could there possibly be something else in there!

Maybe a minute went by when the tech finally asked if this was our first ultrasound with this pregnancy.

Yes...

WELL. You're having twins.

WHAT!?

Okay. at this point I zoned out, rambling and babbling to the tech. But all I could think was. Okay, I know I'm looking at two heads side by side on the screen. But this CANT be right.

There was not a lot of logic in those moments! lol

So there we are. We left if up to god, tried once, were shocked to find out we're expecting, and then KA-BAM. Its TWINS!

They appear to be identical (I've got another post in the works to describe all about that)

So long story short. When you are prepared to trust God and let him make decisions in your life. Also be prepared for the fact that he may trust you with more than you thought you could ever handle. But rest assured there is a reason behind it!

PART I

Its been a long time since I've updated. And a LOT has happened. A LOT. I have discovered that god must really have some plans for us since I put the future of our family in his hands and he has never failed to amaze me... Here is the story.

Tyson and I were unsure about whether our family was complete and in December decided to leave it up to God. We tried ONCE, and decided that if it was meant to be it would happen that once, and if it werent meant to be then our family was complete and we would be okay with that too.

I really wasnt expecting to find out that we were pregnant, but that is exactly what we discovered on December 29, 2010. We were shocked but figured it was meant to be. I was nervous about our family becoming 6 but that soon wore off and we began to get excited.

NOW. this is where things get a little hairy. I was extremely sick. It got to the point where I was sick 24 hours a day for just over a 2 week period. I could not look at, smell, or eat most foods. I lost 8 lbs in those 2 weeks! Never before had I been this sick, or this tired during a pregnancy... but I thought nothing of it, I was hoping that perhaps that meant we were having a girl this time, despite the fact that it really doesnt matter to me either way. The all day sickness eventually faded to just the occassional bout with nausea, which sounds great to me! So here I was... 12 weeks 5 days along, still down about 7 lbs, and headed to our first ultrasound.

TO BE CONTINUED...
YOU CAN CLICK HERE TO READ PART II.