How many is too many?

When it comes to children, How many is too many?

I had always said I would have 2... or 4... I did not want an odd number. However after I had Kyler I said three was enough. I was done.

Enter Newborn Photography. With the amount of newborns that have been in my studio in the past year I was suddenly having that... Hmmm. maybe we're not done feeling again. So when we decided to add a fourth child I was a little nervous, but I was okay with it, because we had always said two or four.

UNTIL God blessed us and we discovered the magic number was 5 instead.

I would be lying if I were to say this wasnt overwhelming. It wasnt so much the idea of having twins that seemed overwhelming to me, It was when I thought of it as FIVE, five children. WOW. I am going to have FIVE CHILDREN... by the age of 29!

I had seen families with that many children,
and I always thought,

wow.

They are crazy...

or possibly that their religious values lead them to having large families...

I never thought that Normal people...
you know,

people like ME

have five children!

Point of my post?

Lady at Kingsway Mall who was telling her friend to look at me because I had three boys in Towe and was pregnant again(as if it were a bad thing)

I am pregnant again.

And its TWINS.

AND ITS WONDERFUL NEWS.

Children make you feel young, children show you the wonder in the things we no longer see... Children make you laugh, smile, giggle, act goofy... and they make you LOVE... There is never enough love. And there is no such thing as too many children as long as they are loved with all their mommy or daddy's hearts.

So I say to my former self.
No the lady at Walmart with 5 kids is not crazy
(although I'm sure SOME days she might agree that she is!)
She is LUCKY.

Now that's real life!

When I found out I was having twins and decided I was also going to cloth diaper,
my thoughts,as well as I'm sure anyone who has seen the usual state of my Laundry room were

'how the heck is she going to handle MORE laundry!?'

Well. Two weeks ago. Thanks to my mother in law... I got all caught up on the laundry... got everything folded. and put away.

You see, I have a TINY problem where I tend get overwhelmed and just STOP folding clothes or putting them away...

so usually my laundry room is FULL of baskets of clean, unfolded clothes. eek. Enter my personal goal.

Project Laundry.
I am trying to prove to myself that I can keep up on it prior to the babies arrival.

Here is my laundry room today,

Almost two weeks in.

I must say that I am proud.... now to keep it up indefinitely!

Now.

Onto another tale from the laundry room.

This.

This has been hanging on the Laundry room door for months.

Today it actually spoke to me.

Do you know what it said?

You fit me (and looked darn cute) three short months ago!

My reply?

I hate you. HA!

If that isnt real life I dont know what is.

Dear Lasenza Lingirie. We will be reunited one day....you will see!

What really matters.

What really matters to me? giggles. I always want my kids to have a reason to giggle. health. happiness. snuggles. sitting together at the supper table. having someone I love's hand to hold. being asked to scratch one of their tiny little backs. hearing tiny footsteps running through the house after bedtime because they forgot to kiss the babies in my belly goodnight. reading stories, building clubhouses, or playing walmart in their bedroom. knowing that if they are hurt, sad, or scared I can make it better. It is not about having the coolest gadgets, the shiniest jewelry, the most fancy ride, or the biggest house. For a LOOONG time I thought these were the things that really mattered to me, That along with my perception of how other people viewed my 'success' but now...

Watching my family grow.

I realize this is what is important to me.
Being here for them.
Watching them.
Not missing a thing.

That is success. Having a hard working husband who enables me to be here for my kids.

You may notice health is also on that list.
Thank goodness I have a healthy family.

I *think* I have finally gotten to the point...
Where I will be just FINE if God plans on us being a family with 5 boys.

Sure, I may have a moment of disappointment or those odd moments when I'm driving to hockey... wishing I was going to dance... but my boys have brought SO MUCH JOY into my life! How could I NOT want more just like them!?

As long as they are healthy, I am happy. Girls/Boys. Does not matter Sure Pink would be nice... But I get plenty of what I need as a mommy from the little boys in my life.

I would be SO BLESSED if 5 boys is what God's plan is for me. Because its just that. Gods plan. Not mine. I'm sure whatever he has chosen to bless us with, that there is a plan behind it. After all, who would have thought we'd be blessed with TWO babies instead of one. So obviously he has great plans for us in the works!

16 weeks

From the right angle,

and if I bunch my shirt a bit,

I kind of sort of look like my old self!!

But then I turn,

and...

KA-BAM

There it is! The 16 week baby bump!
So what is going on in my pregnancy this week?

Well. For one. There are TWO BABIES growing inside me! (I know it, I'm excited by it now, but yet I still have those moments when I think...'Really!? REALLY!?'
Yes Elisha, really.

I am SO forgetful. Never before have I been this bad in a pregnancy. This morning I looked for a pen in my spice cupboard. Yes. I'm that good.

I'm SO tired. Thank goodness both big boys are in school every other day, because then Kyler and I can snuggle on the couch while mommy naps... I'm usually awoken a couple times each nap when Ky has to give me a kiss on the nose. SO. CUTE.

Cravings? Slurpee's maybe? I don't have them that often but if I'm craving anything its a good ole Coca Cola Slurpee... and Milk.
No. Not TOGETHER. Gross.

Weight gain. Oh my. I knew it was coming... but I really did not prepare myself for it. In the past 4 weeks, if my scale is not lying to me... I have gained nearly 7 lbs! Shocked the heck out of me since I hadn't weighed myself for a while... but two days ago when I found my paper recording my weight, and the last one was at 12 weeks I thought I better get a new 'reading'. So with my 7 lb weight gain I am now officially back at my pre pregnancy weight... which is good... but it is still always depressing to see that scale number move up, no matter how noble the reason.

Nose bleeds. Wow. I'm getting glamorous here I know. But a nosebleed a day. Really? Not enjoying that.

A lot of this pregnancy update is sounding negative... so here we go... We have movement! I have been feeling flutters for a few weeks now(must be a multiple time mom thing, because with my first I did not feel a THING until after 20 weeks!), but this week they are definitely getting more substantial, grow babies grow! I LOVE feeling them move... and I cannot wait to feel it even more as they grow.

So there we have it, 16 weeks, hopefully 20-22 more to go :)

My little men

We have had so much baby talk around here lately that I thought I would share one random photo of each of the boys from this past month...

Here is Keaton... and Steven. Where he got the idea to name his fish Steven I will never know. This was a photo I took for him because he had to take a photo of him and his pet to school this week. So since the other boys are allergic to cats/dogs... Steven is the family pet!

This was Actually in February, Kolbys hockey team was drawn to go play during intermission for the Edmonton Oilers... He looked forward to this for MONTHS, constantly needing me to reassure him. 'Mom, I'm going to play for the Edmonton Oilers right?' Yes honey. ' But mom... I'm scared I wont be good enough' Don't worry honey, The Oilers don't have the highest expectations. HA! In the end he was the goalie, and let something like 9 goals in, in the 3 minutes they were on the ice... so he was distraught, but it was the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm sure he will never forget it!
And last but not least. Kyler. This was last week, when I was writing that last post... He helped himself to half a box of fruit loops in a huge Tupperware container. When I came upstairs he had the blankets all laid out on the floor for his 'picpic'(picnic). What a waste, but can you blame him? Aside from the lack of nutritional content, Fruit loops ARE delicious. Just ask the twins, they've been having them every couple days as a snack ;)

So, now that we've had some time to adjust and the initial shock of TWINS has worn off... we've begun to think of the logistics of things.



What do we really need?

What do we need two of?

How will we get things done?

I plan on breastfeeding/pumping, but do we need to stock up on bottles as well? If so how many? I've never done the bottle thing other than the odd bottle if I was going out and someone was babysitting.

Diapers, wow. the diapers!
-How many do we need?
-I want to cloth diaper, but plan on using disposables for the first little bit (until the babies are
at least 8lbs and will fit most one size cloth diapers)
-What size of disposables do I buy if I want to start stocking up now? Newborn? or Preemie,
because I have no idea how big these babies will be!

This is what I've figured out, Month 1, I am estimating we will use SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY DIAPERS! That is about 9 of the big boxes of diapers... Which is $171 IF I can get them on sale, If not we're looking at $225... for DIAPERS... for ONE MONTH! This is estimating with 12 diapers a day per baby... so it may be a little less, but I'd rather over estimate than under estimate and be un-prepared!

I read somewhere online that on average a set of twins will use 13,000-15,000 diapers by the time they are potty trained! So for those of you who question WHY I would ever want to cloth diaper, that my friend is why! I cant even begin to imagine that many diapers in a landfill if I can avoid it, or PAYING for that many diapers in the next 3 years, ouch! My cloth diapering may cost me close to $1000 initially for two babies, but that is significantly less than I would spend on disposables, a huge burden off of our landfills, AND... I can sell them and get at least SOME of my money back when I am done with them!

So that my friends, is another of the many things floating around in my head these days... I'm off to the elementary school now... Gotta love it when you forget to pack your son a sandwich in his lunch! I'm sure he wont mind since that means he gets a sub now :)

It has been a while, But today was one of those days that I woke up and thought...

Was that real?

Am I really having twins?

Unlike the last time I woke up and had that feeling, I did not get the urge to throw up and then have a good cry.... Rather, this time I just smiled!

I'm not sure if my initial reaction is a normal reaction to finding out that you are carrying two babies. But I must admit that my first reaction was nearly dread, How could this be? I was already feeling overwhelmed that we would be adding a fourth child to our family, So how could this happen!? Five, I was going to have FIVE children!?

Now that I have had a couple weeks to get used to the idea, although I'm still overwhelmed at how I will manage 2 newborns and 3 older children, I am now also starting to get excited! We will have double the first smiles, double the baby giggles, and HOPEFULLY a couple little girls for mommy to do girl things with! I know I have probably jinxed myself by saying that I hope it is girls, But I really truly do. I also hope that if these babies are not indeed girls, that God will help me come to terms with the fact that I will not be getting a daughter.

When I thought we were having one baby I was okay with another boy, I actually HOPED for another boy. Because I KNOW boys, I can DO boys.

Since finding out that I am carrying TWO babies however it seems greed has gotten the better part of me. I find myself saying that I better get my girl, because really, all that I've ever wanted is a daughter, and if I give birth to FIVE children and don't get a daughter I will not be impressed.

I don't want to feel like that.

I know that these babies are a blessing and their sex should be the LEAST important thing to me... I just wish my heart could FEEL that. Does that make sense? Maybe one of you moms out there will get it, and hopefully before my next ultrasound I will have a change of heart. I love these babies irregardless, and if they are in fact boys, the LAST thing I want to feel at my next ultrasound is disappointment, because there are FARRRRR worse things out there that I could have to deal with than not getting my daughter.

The belly and other random thoughts

So here it is!! I am, 14 weeks and I believe 2 days today. Please do not look too closely at the photo. I was tempted not to post it as you can see the hideous-ness that is my hair in the mirror.

On another subject? How do you moms find time to do your darn hair!? Mine is in a pony tail so often that when I actually wear it down I am shocked by how much it has grown since the last time it was down!

Flipping subjects again, I bought the double stroller and car seats yesterday! I feel like it is so soon to be doing anything like that, but the way I see it... In the event that I end up on bed rest, I will be glad I got everything organized so early! Not that I'm planning on being on bed rest, but you do see the size of me right? At 14 weeks? These babies are going to start growing FAST now and it should be interesting to see how ginormous I get!

Another random subject? Sure, why not!

Has throwing up become a contest in your house? If not then you are not in a house full of boys! Keaton was up sick most of last night... so tonight at bedtime I told Kolby to go straight to sleep so he can get lots of rest and hopefully not get sick as well. His reply.

'But mom!! I'm already sick! I just puked in my mouth and swallowed it'

Great dude. I'm glad you felt the need to share. Yet another reason I hope that I may get a daughter out of this twins deal... enough of the puke/fart talk for me... I need makeup and shopping! STAT!